Centre for Student Development and Counselling

Tip Sheet: For parents

As parents you may be experiencing some apprehension - or even relief - about the fact that your daughter or son (hereafter referred to as your “student”) is entering university. We have put together some suggestions regarding things you might wish to think about prior to the commencement of classes. The “tips” may help both you and your student deal with some of the transitional issues which will likely be encountered. The more awareness you have and the more planning you do now, the more effective you will be in carrying out a supportive role for your student.

Preparing

Be aware that changes in your student will affect your relationship and how you go about your parenting. As they step into adulthood your role will evolve from “coach” to “cheerleader.” It can therefore be helpful to reflect back on changes you experienced as you moved through significant transitions in your own life.

• What major transitions have you experienced?
• If you attended university, what was your first year like for you?
• What changes did you undergo?
• How did you cope?
• What did you learn that might be helpful now?

Tips

• Through the course of any changes - be it in dress, interests, relationships, level of academic success, your continued support will be an important part of your student’s success.
• Understand that many concerns, problems or changes may be related to one of the 3-"I's"; Independence, Intimacy, or Identity.

Anticipating

An expression of the following is not uncommon:

• stress and fatigue
• money problems
• relationship problems
• adjustment to Toronto problems
• career indecision and/or misgivings about choice of academic program
• loneliness

Tip A frank discussion will often help, and sometimes a suggestion that they speak to someone in the Centre for Student Services or Counselling or another Student Service department is all that is needed to get started on a solution to the problem.

Adjusting

University is more demanding and competitive than high school and an increased workload requires more hours of study. As a result the pressures can be great and the stress levels high.

Tips

• Don't be surprised if there is an initial drop in grades or concern about �workload.�
• If your student indicates that they are experiencing academic difficulties suggest that they investigate the services and programs offered by the Learning Success Centre programs or the Centre for Student Development and Counselling. Check out www.ryerson.ca/learningsuccess/ or our website for program information.
• Encourage your student to become familiar with Ryerson�s academic policies and procedures as doing so can prevent avoidable problems later on.
• Consider how will you respond to a failed grade? Talk about the possibility of initially lower grades ahead
of time.

Communicating

You should give some thought to how you are going to communicate with your student, particularly if they are living away from home. This will be particularly relevant during the first two or three months.

• How often will you talk on the phone?
• Who will pay?
• Expect calls, collect or otherwise.
• How often will you write, email or text message?
• What are your expectations for communication from your student?

Tips

• Send pictures and news items from your hometown paper.
• Don�t make surprise, unannounced visits.
• Expect the frequency of communication to lessen with time, particularly if a satisfactory transition is made.
• Write even if they don�t write back!
• Ask questions, but not too many! Express interest without appearing intrusive.
• When students are under a lot of pressure and stress they can experience a fair measure of insecurity so, when those first phone calls come, avoid responding by saying, �But these are the best years of your life.�

Surviving

Do you need to talk to your student about any of the following issues? how to do laundrypersonal safetycookingleading a balanced lifestylealcohol usenutritionmanaging moneyand any others you can think of

Tips

• Ask your student if they would like to discuss any of the above or whether they have any other fears or concerns about which they want to talk before leaving for Ryerson.
• Be sure to discuss safety issues with your student before leaving for the city. Some will already be street-smart and others will not. What is the nature of your student�s experience in this regard?

Encourage your student to find out about campus safety and security procedures, the role of campus security, traveling around campus at night, emergency procedures, harassment policies, etc.

Supports

Ryerson places great emphasis on providing a variety of supports to help students meet the challenges they will face. We are interested in promoting the success of your student. Many services and resources are provided through the Student Services Department. If your student experiences a problem encourage her/him to seek assistance - EARLY. For a wide range of program information, check out www.ryerson.ca/studentservices/.