TMU student and cult survivor launches nonprofit to help others
Star Spider is currently pursuing a degree in philosophy with a minor in psychology. She has taken interdisciplinary classes at TMU to help her better understand what she went through, and rebuild relationships with family and friends.
Content warning: Mentions psychological manipulation and coercive control
For seven years, TMU student Star Spider was part of a high-control group or cult that altered her personality and belief systems, and isolated her from friends and family.
Today, she’s the founder of Counter (external link) , a non-profit organization dedicated to countering psychological manipulation and coercive control.
“I usually describe my experience as the intersection between a cult and an intimate partner controlling relationship, but with friends as opposed to a romantic relationship,” Spider said.
"When I left that group, I was curious about what happened to me; it seemed very specific and it fascinated me. I wanted to understand what happened to my brain," she continued.
After leaving the high-control group 12 years ago, Spider began learning more about social psychology, the nature of free will and the psychology of persuasion.
She noticed similarities and patterns in different types of manipulative relationships and scenarios, such as sex trafficking, intimate partner controlling relationships, hate and conspiracy groups and various other high-control environments.
“I started Counter to give people free tools to develop a basic understanding of psychological manipulation and control, what they look like, how they manifest across different environments, and some universal techniques that can help people prevent, counter or recover from the experience,” Spider said.
Risk on university campuses
Spider recognized that young people, especially during times of transition such as starting college or university, are at a high risk of manipulation and recruitment into manipulative groups.
“They are searching for identity, community and a place to belong. Many people on college campuses find themselves lonely and trying to make new connections. So, traditionally, a lot of high-control groups actively recruit on campus, including political and religious high-control groups,” Spider said.
As young people look for romantic connections, Spider also identified risks associated with intimate partner control and sex trafficking.
“Hate and conspiracy groups also actively recruit on campuses and online environments. A lot of this is targeted at youth and people in times of transition," she said.
Countering psychological manipulation
With the launch of Counter, Spider aims to provide free and accessible resources for young people to navigate a range of scenarios.
The project currently provides five toolkits (external link) created in collaboration with mental health professionals. They aid in identifying and countering psychological manipulation and coercive control, recovering from the experience, red flags to watch out for, helping youth, and helping loved ones who are under the influence of manipulation and coercion.
Spider wants to help students understand the mechanisms of psychological manipulation and coercive control, and be aware of the signs and signals to look out for.
“Slow isolation or complex rules you’re being asked to follow, maybe with punishments and rewards, are important signs to be mindful of at the beginning,” she said.
“Another big part of prevention is making sure that people are connected in healthy ways, and we find spaces for people to belong and feel understood. Having a sense of community and connection gives people a sense of purpose, and helps reduce their vulnerability to high-control groups.”
Spider is hoping to work with more mental health practitioners and provide them with the necessary training to help people who are actively involved in a high-control group, are in recovery, or want to support a loved one.
She also plans to partner with therapists to offer monthly seminars that can increase awareness in a more engaging way.
For more information about the non-profit’s work and toolkits, visit the Counter website (external link) , follow Counter on TikTok (@StarCounters (external link) ) and YouTube (@TheCounterProject (external link) ).